Thursday, June 6, 2013


(Just after my mastectomy)

I recently was talking with a dear friend about my cancer journey, and she mentioned that it must have been like jumping in without a net. I assume she meant because there is no sure-fire cure for cancer, and doctors give conflicting recommendations. As I was about to nod my head "yes, exactly," my heart reminded me that I have had something even more tangible than a "net." I have had The Words of God. They have been, to me, more solid than solid ground, more filling than food or drink, more life giving than the air I breathe. They have not been a crutch, but rather the very thoughts of the Source that propel my own two legs forward.

Because, you see, even if there was a cure for cancer, I will still die from something else. No net on earth can stop it. I will die. I will leave my children behind, whether they are young or grown. It is destined to happen to us all.

But I have this promise: Jesus said,
“I assure you that whoever hears my word and believes in the one who sent me has eternal life and won’t come under judgment but has passed from death into life. "
This is my Father’s will: that all who see the Son and believe in him will have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day."

How can I believe this? Because I have already seen His promises come true in my life.
Below are some of the promises I have leaned on throughout this journey: 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.
Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh and strength to your bones. (Proverbs 3: 5-8)

For thus says  the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is  Holy: "I dwell in the high and holy place, and also  with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite. (Isaiah 57:15)

They will be like trees planted by the streams, whose roots reach down to the water. They won’t fear drought when it comes; their leaves will remain green. They won’t be stressed in the time of drought or fail to bear fruit. (Jeremiah 17:8)

After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, the one who called you into his eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will himself restore, empower, strengthen, and establish you. (1 Peter 5:10)

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. (Psalms 103:1-5)

Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling; I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living. ......O Lord, I am your servant; I am your servant, the son of your maidservant. You have loosed my bonds. I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the Lord. (Psalms 116:7-9, 16, 17)

I have seen the evidence of all of these promises in my life. How can I not believe His ultimate promise?
I had a conversation recently where someone said to me that faith was believing something that can not be proven. I said that faith is believing in something you can't see based on evidence that you CAN see.

Faith is the reality of what we hope for, the proof of what we don’t see. (Hebrews 11:1)

I still have quite a long journey to go. I have several surgeries ahead of me, I have to go into the the oncologist office for the next nine months and receive a chemo-like treatment (but without all of the really bad side effects that the previous treatments had) and I am facing living the rest of my life without hormones. There have been moments that I have been TERRIFIED,  but because of these promises of God that have already come true in my life, I can walk forward and EXPECT them to be true again. His mercies are new everyday if only we will turn to Him as our source of power and not ourselves, or our doctors, or our food, or ANYTHING else. His existence and power is true. I can hear it, see it, taste it and feel it in my life. And I know I will continue to as I continue to LIVE.


Joshua Pappas said...

Very well said. May God continue to bless you!

Amanda Conley said...

Thank you, josh. :)

sarawestermark said...

As hard as it is, trauma in my life has made me more aware of God and all the daily miracles that we have. I live on a more spiritual plane because of it. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. For me it reminds me to make each day special and source of wonder.

Amanda Conley said...

That is beautiful and wonderful, Sara.

Anonymous said...

So glad to hear from you. I've been checking back every day for a new post. I too, have experienced God's work and presence in my life, and especially when it comes in desperate, dark times, it is felt with such intensity that there is no question of His love and power. I am so grateful to live in this grace. All things are possible. Be well.