Jesus was in the rear of the boat, sleeping on a pillow. They woke him up and said, "Teacher, don’t you care that we’re drowning?" He got up and gave orders to the wind, and he said to the lake, "Silence! Be still!" The wind settled down and there was a great calm. (Mark 4:38, 39)
Sometimes I doubt that God is good.
I don't have a hard time believing that He IS. It is not often difficult for me proclaim that He is in control. But when it comes to His goodness, I falter.
I think the main question we humans have, after we come to terms with "Is there more out there?", is "Why do bad things happen?"
"Why is everything so .... Broken?"
And our yearning for answers to this messed up world can cause us to examine whether or not God is good and if He truly loves us.
Yesterday, I sat looking out at a gorgeous sky hovering over the sparkling waters of the Gulf on a vacation that was given to me as a complete gift to celebrate a year of living and surviving a cancer diagnoses.
I sat in amazement because there was supposed to be a hurricane here yesterday. A monster was headed in our direction, just as we were celebrating nearing the end of our family's personal storm. Preparations were being made for a disaster. Our boys and I were reeling in disappointment.
I called my mom to cry about our misfortune, and she said to me, "Amanda, God can turn a storm."
And I told that to my children. Then for a moment, the veil of doubt in Our God's goodness was pulled back and we believed, that no matter what, He loved us.
Soon after, the storm broke up.
And the weather was BEAUTIFUL.
Jesus doesn't always turn the storm.
But He is always in the boat.
Sometimes, though, when He knows you have had enough, He says "Be still." in a quiet and authoritative voice.
And it is.
God is not beating me down with some kind of training - like a misused soldier - so that I will bend to His will only out of the need to survive.
Rather, out of His GOODNESS and love towards me, He is gently coaxing me to love Him, like a father with His beloved daughter.
Yes, God is good.